"It is essential to our well-being, and to our lives, that we play and enjoy life. Every single day do something that makes
  your heart sing."

  *Marcia Wieder

Life’s Lessons My Mom Has Taught Me

Maybe we don’t have to make all the mistakes; maybe we can learn from some of the lessons our Mothers have to teach us.

Jan Hunter   Monday April 10, 2006

It wasn’t until I was in my 40’s that I was ready to start to learn some of the valuable lessons my Mother had to teach me. I remember being younger and thinking “what does she know??? “  As it turns out, she knows a lot.

I have finally begun to pay attention. I have finally begun to value what she is willing to pass along to me from what life’s lessons have taught her. I feel that I am very lucky to have this opportunity and to be able to take advantage of it as I make my way through my own life’s journeys.

I am so fortunate to have my Mom still a big part of my life and to be able to write down lessons in the present moment rather than the past.

I wonder if my Mom knows how much she means to me and what a wonderful friend I feel I have in her. I wonder if she knows just how much she has taught me?    Or maybe she thinks I still don’t listen to her……

During the most difficult times in my life my Mom has given me words of wisdom; wonderful insights; tools for coping and courage for changing. Her unique way of phrasing situations into such common sense considerations as well as her strength, support and unconditional love I will be forever grateful for.

I want to share some of what I have learned from my Mom.

"Hate is an acid and it will do more damage to the vessel it is stored in than it will to the object it is aimed at.”

 Many times I have hated and allowed myself to become tangled up in bitterness and resentment because of what I have perceived as unfairness and injustices.

 My Mom’s wisdom has helped me to learn and to grow through these various experiences. From her wisdom and this lesson she has shared with me, I have learned to forgive and to keep working at it because it is difficult. 

Human nature is to hang on to slights and to hurts; but it is much healthier to forgive and to move on. I now look for the good; for the lesson that is mixed in with the experience and I look for what I am meant to learn. Most important is that I keep trying and when life hands me difficult situations where I want to cry out the unfairness; I want to protest the injustice; I want to stay the victim; I want to feel all bitter and resentful and hateful and wish unkind things upon others; that is when it is the most difficult to remember one of Mom’s valuable lessons and that is also when it is the most important to remember it and practice it!

“You have to like the person you see in the mirror every day!”

I have had many times where I haven’t liked the person looking back at me, I have disliked her, I have hated her and I have disrespected her. I have not thought that there was any value in who she was and what she had to offer. I have thought that she was a waste of space, of breath, and I have wished bad things upon her. It has taken me the first half of my life time to find self respect, to develop self worth and to really appreciate, respect and value that unique person I see in the mirror. The more I allow myself to learn and grow the more self worth I am able to develop. The more I respect and value myself reflects back on how others treat me. After all, if you can’t love yourself and treat yourself kindly nobody else will, and why should they? The more I strive to become the person I was always meant to be, the more I develop a strong set of core values and stick to them the more I love the person that looks back at me in the mirror. I see wisdom and laughter in the lines that now surround her eyes. I see light and love shining through those eyes for the whole world to see. I like the person I see in the mirror each day and much to my delight, that person is me!

“You have to learn to love people, warts and all.”

Such being said, none of us is perfect. I am sure we all know someone who thinks they are perfect, how sad for them!

In the course of living I have had the opportunity to interact with all kinds of people with all kinds of different personality types ranging from passive to aggressive; from kind and caring to apparently not possessing a heart. Sometimes the most difficult people to love are the ones that need it the most, (another one of Mom’s euphemisms). As difficult as it can be; it greatly helps to remember that we too have our “warts” and are not perfect. Accept that which cannot be changed and change that which can be bettered. Live, Learn and Love!

“We are all responsible for how we hear things.”

Communication, it is an art form unto itself.

How many times have any of us taken what someone has said to heart and allowed ourselves to feel hurt or anger and to resent… based upon what we think they meant?

The hardest times to communicate are usually the most important times to try. Put away the ego; put away the hurt and anger and speak out of friendship and love. Be responsible for how you hear things and be responsible for your choices from that point on. Choose wisely and you will grow.

Life’s Lessons I Have Learned

"You Can Knock Yourself Out Trying To Please Everybody

AND Nobody Is Happy

Or You Can Please Yourself

And Everything Else Falls Into Place!”

How many times have you knocked yourself out for recognition from others? How many times have you knocked yourself out to gain respect from others?

How many times have you knocked yourself out for validation from others?

Now ask yourself how many times you have knocked yourself out for those above three things first and foremost ???

And all the while First and foremost you have failed to give those things to yourself?

So my question was to myself at that time as much as it is to you now…

If you don’t value and recognize yourself for the unique & wonderful person that is within you; how would you expect anyone else to recognize and value that in you???

If you don’t value and respect all that you are meant to be, how can you become that wonderful kind caring compassionate person that is destined to be you? How can you become the best that you can be????

What I Hope My Children Have Learned From Me

I hope that my children have learned from me kindness. Above all kindness to themselves.

I hope that my children have learned from me compassion. Above all compassion for others.

I hope that my children have learned from me patience. Above all patience for all of the trials and the tribulations that we are destined to live through in this lifetime.

I hope that my children have learned from me fairness, strength, and faith. Faith in a higher power and belief that all will be well.

Strength to meet and learn through all of life’s lessons.

Fairness to be exercised daily when dealing others and various situations.

Life’s Lessons My Children Have Taught Me

Maybe we don’t have to make all the same mistakes; maybe we can learn from some of the lessons our children have to teach us.

To Love Unconditionally!

The things I have learned from my children.

I think what smart children I have and I do….Probably the smartest in the world!

I have learned from my children that they combine the best of what their biological father had to offer at that time combined with what I had to offer at that same time. To me this makes my boys beautiful!!!!

I have learned that no matter what went right or mostly wrong in the time frame of my life that I spent with their biological father; that there is a reason for everything. Without living that chapter of my life, I wouldn’t have the children I have; nor would I be the person I am today.

My children have taught me that separated or divorced spouses should never run each other down no matter how much they may dislike each other. Such behaviour never reflects positively upon the person spewing the venom no matter how validated they may or may not be.

 Submitted by Jan Hunter of Bee Happy Candles